Ask Sydney

Free Help for Teens!

Read answers to questions, comment ... or ask your own questions. If you're having any problems at home, school, or life, I'm happy to listen and give you my advice. Just send me your question (anonymous) and I will I'll be happy to help.

This is where your truth is safe to be told.  My passion is listening and helping others work through their situations. 

(Disclaimer: I am a senior in high school. This means although I do aspire to obtain a psychology degree, I realize there are some situations which I simply do not have the tools to deal with. So as long as the topic is not outside of my realm, I will do my best to help you and send you an answer.)

I have already taken a college level psychology course and plan to continue on this path.  Send me any questions about love, family and/or social life and I'll give you my honest perspective. Don't be shy; This is what I love, and I won't know it's you unless you wish to leave a name!

How do I get Over Someone that Ghosts Me?

Dear Sydney…

How do I get over a girl that ghosts me?
 
In order to answer this question, I must first address the two differing meanings of the term “ghosting”. 
1. The act of either disappearing off of social media altogether, or disappearing from a specific person on it. This could mean a sudden lack of activity on media such as Snapchat, Instagram, Facebook etc.  It could also simply mean reading texts/messages but not responding to them, or not answering phone calls.
2. The act of completely disappearing out of someone’s personal life without a notable rhyme or reason. This can be used both in a romantic and platonic context. 
 
Both meanings are a bit different, right? But both can be just as painful to encounter. Now that I’ve made the differences clear, I will answer your question within both of those contexts. Read whichever one applies to you most (or both, that happens to be your situation). 
 
Context 1:
If you have noticed a sudden lack of responsiveness from someone online, it can be shocking and hard to deal with at first. The best advice I have is to begin reaching out to other people both on social media and in the real world. I know it may be hard, especially depending on how close you were to this person, but it is what is healthy for both of you. Do not wait around expecting for this person to come back, but also don’t knock it! You never know what someone is going through that makes them distance. They could be going through a dip in their life, or something they feel they cannot talk about. Let it be. Go with the flow. If they come back, that’s great. But if they do not, don’t blame yourself. Whatever happens, you have to focus on you and your happiness. Find people to talk to that are consistent in their communication with you. 
 
Context 2: 
If someone has suddenly seemed to be gone from your personal life for no reason, this can be extremely painful and tends to bubble up a lot of different thoughts and emotions. In a way, it can feel like an undeserved betrayal, especially if you put a lot of trust in this person. I would definitely say in this situation you need some time to heal. If this has deeply affected your ability to trust others, that is something you need to address before going on to new people. The best thing to heal this is time passing, and a positive mindset. For a while it may feel like this sense of betrayal, hurt, and/or anger will never go away. Your mind may replay the event(s), making it feel like the same painful thing is happening over and over. However, the more you let yourself work through this stage, the less painful it will start to feel eventually. I know that may sound strange, because as people (especially for guys) we are usually taught that emotions should not be felt, crying is bad, sad is bad etc. These are all complete myths, all of which are incorrect. Let yourself feel the emotions, and you will soon accept the situation for what it was. Once this acceptance happens, it will be much easier to move on. But most importantly… if there is only one take away you have from this, it should be to never give up hope! You CAN and WILL find new people. As someone who has been through the same thing who didn’t believe I could, I know this to be true. I proved myself wrong. So if you don’t believe in yourself, change that because things will definitely come along! It just takes time and patience. I promise. 
 
Stay strong! 
Sydney Johnson

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Why Ask Sydney?

My entire life, I've always been drawn to the idea of helping others. As a young child, I was taught very early on the importance of kindness. And now as a young adult, I realize that many people struggle on a day to day basis with little to no people reaching out to give them a hand. When I realized that I could be a helpful resource for people and make a living at it too, I was so excited!

Other interests I have: In my free time, I usually play video games, hang out with friends, listen to music, write or play with my dog. I have a huge love for animals, music and people in general!

(PS: Each and every question is appreciated.)